*I assure you that all of the items in this list are very real, and I at least kind of want each one.
**Dear family, you might need to crowdfund a few of these. Just a heads up.
#8 Kidnapping Head Cover
This head . . . pillow . . . thing would be perfect for kidnapping victims . . . er, guests. Also great for evil naps.
#7 Golf Cart Hovercraft
Because . . . golf cart hovercraft! Nothing says evil empire like a golf cart hovercraft. Seriously though, golf. cart. hovercraft.
#6 The Chair
Ok, so the island with the volcano in the center probably isn’t an option for most of us. But what is a lair without the right chair? This one from brookstone may not be made from the bones of your enemies, but it features a human-like massage, speakers for your bad guy theme song, and fits with a decor that says, “no, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die.”
#5 Defense/Surveillance Robots
Next up, security essentials. Need another pair of eyes around the lair? This camera equipped robot dog can patrol for you. Oh, and it’s controlled by your MIND!
Or maybe you’d prefer something a little more. . . airborne?
#4 Twitter Connected Laser Tripwire
The modern evildoer doesn’t have time to design a front end for their lair defense system. Since we’re all on twitter anyway, why not connect a tweeting system to a laser trip wire?
#3 Fog Shield
Don’t you hate it when your defenses fail? Cover your hasty retreat with an instant fog shield. 2,000 square feet in less than 15 seconds ought to do it, am I right?
#2 PT Boat
How about a Patrol Boat? Fully restored WWII model updated with modern electronics, radar, and two turbo-charged diesel engines with 1,100 total horsepower.
#1 Killer Whale Submarine
And the number one gift for your inner bond villain? This killer whale submarine! It needs no introduction or explanation. It’s just awesome.
#4 Laser Keyboard
Something about this laser keyboard just screams 007.
#3 Water Jet Pack
This jetpack gives you flight without the fiery mess of rockets.
#2 Flying Hovercraft
When you need to make a quick getaway, boat chases get more interesting when you can take to the air.